Stepped on a squirrel. Busted him for illegal possession of firearms...

So there I was, walking around the empty park with my new Converse shoes, birds singing, sun still rising, just minding my own business, you know? Like to keep on healthy basis and morning parades before work seems a nice undergoing. And man… it's still Autumn: time to crash dried leaves with your feet. So there I was crashing… cracking them. When suddenly something soft almost cracked as well. 'What a hell…' - that's what I thought, before the sudden acknowledge stroke me: "Oh hell! I stepped on a squirrel!" - now, that's what I cried out loud… in a park, at dawn… Poor little bugger glanced at me and with nothing more than a well-deserved "Fuck off!", strolled along the path. "Now wait just a second!" - I said. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to step you. It was…". But he wasn't listening. In fact he scowled at me and cried "Eat nuts!". And I did eat them, literaly... And I do assure you: nuts are heavy, man! They hurt! Especially if a squirrel is aiming them at your head. So I got angry: "You must feel really lucky, don't you, chipmunk?" - and that's what I said to him. And I actually felt proud about it - the best Clint Eastwood imitation I ever did in my entire life. So I put my Rayban glasses on, released the cuffs and busted him for illegal possession of firenuts... I mean -arms! Firearms! So that's what happens when a squirrel gets in my way, during my early strolls. So if you're a squirrel like your little buddy here and you're reading this... you better think deeply about it, 'cause I wouldn't like seeing you crossing my path...

E sim... fartei-me de rir a escrever isto, quando sei que na realidade não tem piada nenhuma; e ocorreu-me porque calhou ver um daqueles filmes do Dirty Harry e achei que seria engraçado ver o homem a prender esquilos e a dar cabo da FLE - Frente de Libertação dos Esquilos - que ainda é pior que a FLA - Frente de Libertação dos Açores.